BUFFALO—In a heartfelt yet slightly bemused gesture, thousands turned out for the inaugural ‘8th Choice Remembrance Day’ parade, sources confirmed Thursday. “It’s comforting to be part of a community where even being a 10th choice is celebrated,” said local participant Ted Mulholland, clutching his ‘Close-Enough Cupid’ banner proudly. “It makes it sting a little less,” he added with a wistful grin.

Participants donned T-shirts emblazoned with slogans like “Why Not?” and “Backyard Bowling Date?” while sharing stories of their own relentless mediocrity. “I’ve mastered the art of being the safe rebound and the ‘can’t-get-the-reservation’ alternative,” confessed Brenda Ellis. “Our niche is getting bigger—like the concert lineup nobody wanted but fun nonetheless.”

City officials endorsed the day’s success, hinting at next year’s festivities including a ‘Why Not Me?’ picnic and the emotionally uplifting ‘It’s Not Rejection, It’s Recalibration’ workshop. “We may be no one’s first pick, but at least we have each other,” remarked Mayor Carl Willis, acknowledging that, sometimes, mediocrity unites more than triumph ever could.