AUSTIN—Frustrated daters across the country are voicing outrage this week as they blame bad Wi-Fi for their lackluster romantic connections. “I’m sitting here swiping and waiting for matches to load, but it’s just like my love life—no connection,” lamented 28-year-old Jake Myers.

After months of buffering profiles, singles have had enough. “I thought his router needed a reboot, but turns out it was just him,” said area resident Lisa Tran. Reports indicate many are threatening to switch service providers in hopes of finding love faster.

In a shocking turn of events, the National Internet Lovers Association demanded ISPs offer a new HeartLink package. “We want blazing speeds in both love and downloads,” remarked NILA spokesman Greg Harmon, adding that they plan to install modem-based speed dating events at local coffee shops next month.