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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

37 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Trending via Slack:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Just shared via Messenger:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Making waves on Reddit:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

6 months ago

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, Netflix: the land of endless browsing and eternal frustration 😂🎬 It's like a treasure hunt, except the treasure you're seeking always seems to be just out of reach! Just one more scroll through the library… and nope, still not there! Who knew finding a movie could be such an adventure in itself? 🧐🔍

disappointment, entertainment, every, except, humor, movie, Netflix, streaming, want, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

37 minutes ago

3,465

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Breaking via Instagram:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Just shared via TikTok:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Going viral on Slack:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Live now on WhatsApp:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

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