Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.
  • Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.
  • You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.
  • There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.
  • I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.
  • I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.