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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Dear Santa, Money!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Jan 5, 2026

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Just landed via Discord:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Going viral on Messenger:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

2 months ago

0

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, Netflix: the land of endless browsing and eternal frustration 😂🎬 It's like a treasure hunt, except the treasure you're seeking always seems to be just out of reach! Just one more scroll through the library… and nope, still not there! Who knew finding a movie could be such an adventure in itself? 🧐🔍

disappointment, entertainment, every, except, humor, movie, Netflix, streaming, want, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, exhaustion, here, humor, life, reality, responsibility, tired, welcome
Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

0

5 months ago

apology, boop, button, communication, hoping, humor, i, joke, mute, mute button, nose, sorry, sound
As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

0

2 months ago

curse, humor, i, interest, last, sarcasm
Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

0

6 months ago

algorithm, gods, hot, humor, i, just, let, media, online, post, revenge, selfie, social, social media, work
I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

0

2 months ago

afford, affordability, comparison, door, humor, i, lids, open, Tupperware, vehicle, wing, wing door
The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, bed, being, best, fun, fun activity, humor, independence, middle, over, relationships, right, single, sleep, sleeping

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

59 shares on Discord this month:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

37 shares on X this month:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

85 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,251

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Spotted on X:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Spotted on Discord:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Live now on Slack:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Breaking via Twitch:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

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