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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Trending via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Trending via YouTube:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Going bananas on Twitch:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Freshly posted on X:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

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“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When someone says "new recipe," brace yourself for disappointment – it's basically code for "less bang for your buck." 🍽️ Less content, worse ingredients – it's like getting a fancy looking fruitcake only to find out it's actually made of raisins and regrets. 😆#RecipeForDisaster

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on X this month:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

16 shares on Threads this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Making waves on Discord:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Seen just now on Threads:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Going viral on X:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Blink if you want me!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

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