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Commentary:
When someone says "new recipe," brace yourself for disappointment – it's basically code for "less bang for your buck." 🍽️ Less content, worse ingredients – it's like getting a fancy looking fruitcake only to find out it's actually made of raisins and regrets. 😆#RecipeForDisaster

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

1 week ago
cause, cold, humor, jacket, paper, paper towel, Shein, shivering, towel, towels
When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

1 month ago
appointment, comfort, early, humor, i, late, leave, leaving, me, pajamas, party, say, social, someone
I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

1 month ago
adulting, age, arrest, funny perspective, house, house arrest, humor, life, life stage, longer, perspective, sounds, stage, thing, where, worst, worst thing
I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

1 month ago
appearance, craving, fine, food, hunger, hungry, inside, joke, outside, self-deprecation
I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

1 month ago
dance, expression, farewell, fun, good, good riddance, humor, i, put, riddance
My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

2 months ago
customer, customer experience, driver, experience, five, humor, me, rating, ride, silence, stars, talk, transportation, try, Uber

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Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

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I love it when God gives me money.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I only drink when I people.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

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Activity Log ✨

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

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“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

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