35 funny recipe quotes - Wordgag

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

May 23, 2026

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

May 23, 2026

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

May 23, 2026

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

May 22, 2026

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

May 22, 2026

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

May 22, 2026

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

May 21, 2026

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

May 21, 2026

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

May 21, 2026

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

May 20, 2026

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

May 20, 2026

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

May 19, 2026

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

May 19, 2026

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

May 19, 2026

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

May 19, 2026

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

May 18, 2026

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

May 18, 2026

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

Apr 1, 2026

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Apr 1, 2026

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Mar 31, 2026

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Mar 31, 2026

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Mar 31, 2026

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Mar 30, 2026

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Mar 29, 2026

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Mar 29, 2026

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Mar 28, 2026

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Mar 28, 2026

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Mar 28, 2026

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Mar 28, 2026

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Mar 27, 2026

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Mar 27, 2026

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Mar 27, 2026

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Mar 27, 2026

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Mar 27, 2026

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Mar 27, 2026