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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

42 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Making waves on WeChat:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Going viral on Messenger:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Spotted on Discord:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Making waves on TikTok:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Going viral on Twitch:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Making waves on Slack:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

6 months ago

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

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Commentary:
"Modern Family: Where miscommunication is an art form 🎭💬😂 It's a masterclass in misinterpreting, mishearing, and misadventures! 🤪👂🏼📺 Who needs crystal clear communication when you can have a good laugh instead? 🤷🏻‍♂️🤣 #ModernMisunderstandings"

better, comedy, family, humor, miscommunication, misunderstanding, modern, Modern Family, plot, show

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

42 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Making waves on Messenger:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Making waves on YouTube:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Shared recently on Slack:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Reported on YouTube:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Going viral on Twitch:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

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