Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Making waves on Messenger:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Spotted on Reddit:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Shared recently on Threads:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Trending via WeChat:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Making waves on Telegram:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

2 months ago

0

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Modern Family: Where miscommunication is an art form 🎭💬😂 It's a masterclass in misinterpreting, mishearing, and misadventures! 🤪👂🏼📺 Who needs crystal clear communication when you can have a good laugh instead? 🤷🏻‍♂️🤣 #ModernMisunderstandings"

better, comedy, family, humor, miscommunication, misunderstanding, modern, Modern Family, plot, show

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

0

2 months ago

act, drink, expectation, humor, just, money, people, pressure, rejection, response, social, social pressure, tell, trying, turned
People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

0

2 months ago

away, bad, distancing, humor, introvert, outside, people, social, social distancing, solitude, stay, too
Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

0

2 months ago

balance, being, grace, gracefully, humor, insane, insanity, perspective, sane, sanity, secret, staying, world
The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

0

2 months ago

estate, fear, goth, haunted, humor, lifestyle, live, townspeople, urge, Victorian
I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

0

2 months ago

activity, armstrong, around, bike, block, drug, drugs, enhancing, enhancing drug, exercise, humor, i, lance, Lance Armstrong, nostalgia, performance, time, understand
If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

0

2 months ago

admire, brains, humor, joke, relationship, woman, yourself, zombie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

41 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Trending via Telegram:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Just landed via Telegram:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Shared recently on Discord:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

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