Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

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You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

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Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

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‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

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I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

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So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

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“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

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You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.