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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

14 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Pinterest:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Just shared via Threads:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Going viral on Twitch:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Seen just now on Discord:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Making waves on Facebook:

How do I un-know people?

Freshly posted on X:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Just landed via Reddit:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

6 months ago

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

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Commentary:
Ah, the bittersweet truth of nostalgia: when even reminiscing isn't as satisfying as it once was 🕰️✨ Perhaps it's just like an old song on repeat, losing a bit of its magic with each play 🎶😅 Let's cherish the memories, even if they come with a side of "it was better back then" nostalgia goggles! 🌟🤔

good, humor, irony, memory, nostalgia, used

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

14 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Reported on Telegram:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Friends with consequences.

Reported on TikTok:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Breaking via Messenger:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Going viral on Twitch:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Breaking via Messenger:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Just shared via Slack:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

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