Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew that mastering the art of relaxation and zen could be so competitive? Watch out, this blood pressure machine might just challenge you to a rematch!"

beat, blood, blood pressure, brag, competition, high, high score, humor, joke, just, machine, pressure, score

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

0

2 months ago

bag, baguette, female, food, food joke, humor, joke, mean, misunderstanding, wordplay
I am thick and tired.

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2 months ago

am, exhaustion, humor, i, play, play on words, thick, tired, words
I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

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2 months ago

around, character, comedy, Halloween, humor, i, me, need, personality, quirky, round, strange, strange character, year, year round
And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

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2 months ago

dark, dark humor, fire, humor, illusion, magic, next, performance, set, soul, trick
I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

0

2 months ago

another, breaks, coffee, drink, humor, i, routine, take, time
That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, birthday, drop, drop off, inside, invite, moment, panic, party, situation, social, social situation, start, surprise, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

78 shares on X this month:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Live now on Snapchat:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Going viral on Reddit:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Live now on WhatsApp:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

I am thick and tired.

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨