Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has copied:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has shared:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has shared:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has copied:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has viewed:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Trending via X:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Trending via TikTok:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the unexpected time warp from Friday to Tuesday! Time to play catch up with the days like a real-life game of Where's Waldo πŸ€”β° #TimeTravelTroubles"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Instagram this month:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, β€œIt’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

47 shares on X this month:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

They should invent a day where it all works out.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The word β€˜stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan β€˜Dennis’? We could be saying, β€œI dennis Beyonce.”

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has copied:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has viewed:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has copied:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has copied:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has shared:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has shared:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Threads:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Spotted on Facebook:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Going viral on Facebook:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Trending via Pinterest:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Just shared via Messenger:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

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