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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Breaking via Discord:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Just landed via Instagram:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Trending via Discord:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Shared recently on Threads:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the unexpected time warp from Friday to Tuesday! Time to play catch up with the days like a real-life game of Where's Waldo 🤔⏰ #TimeTravelTroubles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

69 shares on Slack this month:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

28 shares on Threads this month:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Going viral on Slack:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Trending via X:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Going viral on Threads:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Shared recently on X:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

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