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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Breaking via Instagram:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Spotted on WeChat:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Reported on Telegram:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Seen just now on X:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Reported on Telegram:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Occupation: the ugly friend!

4 months ago

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Occupation: the ugly friend – Always there for you when you need it, no matter how unglamorous or underappreciated. It's the friend you can count on to show up uninvited and stick around for the long haul. Just like a true friend, it might not be the most exciting or glamorous aspect of your life, but it's always there, loyal and reliable, ready to support you through thick and thin. Who knew your job could be so relatable

friend, humor, occupation, relationship, self-deprecation, ugly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Trending via Slack:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Spotted on TikTok:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Trending via X:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Live now on Discord:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Shared recently on Discord:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

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