Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.
  • You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.
  • Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
  • My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
  • “What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.
  • Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.