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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2490 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,652

Funny Quotes Topics

15,327

Funny Quotes Images

12,652

1 minute ago

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Reported on Reddit:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Shared recently on Slack:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Spotted on Slack:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Seen just now on Facebook:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Going viral on Threads:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Going viral on Threads:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Jan 22, 2025

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle of light-colored attire against the dark forces of coffee spills! ☕️👔 It seems like your morning brew has a mischievous streak today. Perhaps it's just trying to show its dark side in contrast to your pristine white shirt! Remember, coffee stains are just battle scars in the grand saga of morning rituals.💪😆

accident, clothing, coffee, humor, shirt, spill, violence, white, white shirt

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2490 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,652

Funny Quotes Topics

15,327

Funny Quotes Images

12,652

1 minute ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Just landed via Twitch:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Shared recently on Instagram:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Just shared via TikTok:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

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