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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Just shared via WeChat:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Trending via Pinterest:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Trending via Twitch:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Just shared via YouTube:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Just landed via Reddit:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Just landed via Instagram:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

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Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.
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Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle of light-colored attire against the dark forces of coffee spills! ☕️👔 It seems like your morning brew has a mischievous streak today. Perhaps it's just trying to show its dark side in contrast to your pristine white shirt! Remember, coffee stains are just battle scars in the grand saga of morning rituals.💪😆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Twitch this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

75 shares on X this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

11 shares on X this month:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

61 shares on Discord this month:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

57 shares on X this month:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh good. Another day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Spotted on YouTube:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Seen just now on Messenger:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

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