13 funny violence quotes - Wordgag

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

May 24, 2026

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

May 23, 2026

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

May 22, 2026

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

May 21, 2026

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

May 20, 2026

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

May 19, 2026

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

May 18, 2026

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

May 18, 2026

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Mar 31, 2026

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Mar 31, 2026

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Mar 30, 2026

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Mar 28, 2026

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Mar 28, 2026