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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Jan 5, 2026

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Making waves on WeChat:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Making waves on Discord:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Just landed via Discord:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Making waves on Instagram:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Just landed via Discord:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Spotted on Instagram:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Just landed via Reddit:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Making waves on X:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

2 months ago

0

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, absolutely! The sheer level of squirreliness is simply off the acorn charts! 🐿️ Just when you think they've reached peak squirreliness, they go and surprise you with even more antics. It's like they have a dedicated Squirrel Olympics for being, well, squirrely! 🥜🏅"

feature, features, fun, humor, me, nature, personality, quirkiness, squirrel, squirrels, top

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

0

2 months ago

always, cost, humor, money, therapist, therapy
What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

0

1 week ago

belief, believe, childhood, ever, family, holiday, humor, kid, kids, parent, parents, pretend, pretending, Santa
You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

0

2 months ago

humor, i, know, let, love, me, sleep, waking, waking up
Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

0

2 months ago

activity, competitive, fun, fun activity, game, humor, interaction, know, Monopoly, personality, play, relationship, social, social interaction, someone, want
Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

0

2 months ago

exhausting, expectations, humor, living, motivation, potential, reality, self-improvement, sounds
I love my bed so much, what a place.

0

2 months ago

bed, comfort, humor, i, love, much, place, relaxation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

23 shares on Threads this month:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

72 shares on Slack this month:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Making waves on YouTube:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Trending via Snapchat:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Live now on Pinterest:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Making waves on X:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Trending via Snapchat:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Shared recently on X:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

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