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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

34 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Just landed via Instagram:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Trending via Messenger:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Spotted on Facebook:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Making waves on Messenger:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

6 months ago

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the dramatic reveal of unmasking post-pandemic, a true fashion statement! 💃💼 It's like a surgeon's grand finale, but instead of saving lives, we're just revealing our faces after a trip to the grocery store. 😷💥 Who knew removing a piece of cloth could be so satisfying yet slightly anti-climactic? 🎭 #UnmaskingDrama

getting, humor, i, just, mask, miss, nostalgia, pandemic, playfulness, relief, surgery, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

34 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Breaking via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Going viral on Twitch:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Going viral on WeChat:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

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