Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“You’re crazy.” God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Jan 12, 2026

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Trending via YouTube:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Trending via Reddit:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Just shared via Threads:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Making waves on Slack:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

2 months ago

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the dramatic reveal of unmasking post-pandemic, a true fashion statement! 💃💼 It's like a surgeon's grand finale, but instead of saving lives, we're just revealing our faces after a trip to the grocery store. 😷💥 Who knew removing a piece of cloth could be so satisfying yet slightly anti-climactic? 🎭 #UnmaskingDrama

getting, humor, i, just, mask, miss, nostalgia, pandemic, playfulness, relief, surgery, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

5 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, frustration, humor, i, need, patience, runs, technology, tracking, watch
Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

2 months ago

hack, house, leave, life, life hack, never, running, someone, talk, want, worry
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

2 months ago

evolution, hand, humor, irony, mother, parenting
Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

4 months ago

even, fatigue, humor, little, most, power, powerful, sleepiness, sleepy, still, strength, tiredness
Life is just resetting your password until you die.

2 months ago

death, die, existence, humor, irony, just, life, password, resetting, struggle, technology
I had too much to think last night.

5 months ago

humor, i, last, much, night, overthinking, think, thinking, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Instagram this month:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

54 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

26 shares on Slack this month:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Monday that no one asked for.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Making waves on Slack:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Spotted on TikTok:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Spotted on Discord:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Making waves on WeChat:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Trending via Discord:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Going viral on X:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

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