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Commentary:
Oh, the joys of cohabitation! 🏠👫 Sounds like she's really taking the concept of a "veggie ale" to a whole new level! 🍺🥦 Who knew the beer compartment could have such a versatile use? 😄 #RelationshipQuirks

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

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2 months ago

before, concern, couple, funny moment, humor, just, making, moment, motorcycle, outside, realization, seconds, sounds, spent, stomach
Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

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2 months ago

even, humor, irony, leadership, manager, meditation, order, productivity, silence, want, week, work
It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

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2 months ago

animal, animal humor, confidence, cool, fear, fish, humor, me, quirky, romance, sad, sadness, self-esteem, want, women
About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

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2 months ago

exercise, fitness, four, humor, i, minutes, motivation, personality, procrastination, run, running, self-improvement, want, work
Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

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2 months ago

branding, business, dinosaur, giraffe, humor, man, mascot, r, right, stupid, toy, toys, Toys R Us, Toysaurus, us
Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

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2 months ago

activity, alien, call, calling, excuse, humor, making, Nasa, noises, science, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

85 shares on Discord this month:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

93 shares on WeChat this month:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

91 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Spotted on Reddit:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Breaking via WeChat:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Making waves on Threads:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨