People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

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“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

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He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

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Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

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Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

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I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

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Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

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Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

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I’m running out of people I like.

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Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

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Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.