Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs opposites when you can find someone to be double the chaos with? 🤪🤪 It’s like having a partner in crime, except the crime is being overwhelmingly annoying together! 😜👯‍♂️ #DoubleTrouble #CrazyLove"

annoying, attract, attraction, capacity, deranged, double, humor, i, opposites, partner, people, relationships, same, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

0

2 months ago

4-way, 4-way stop, awkwardness, driving, driving humor, everyone, humor, impatience, rage, road, road rage, same, sexual, sexual tension, social, social awkwardness, stop, tension, time, traffic
Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

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2 months ago

40s, close, day, everyday, everyday struggle, finding, gold, hot, hot day, humor, luck, parking, patience, relatable, shade, spot, struggle, summer
I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

0

2 months ago

25, accomplishment, alive, collection, feeling, hobby, humor, i, never, random, screw, time, used
I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

0

2 months ago

connection, forget, friendship, humor, i, me, people, personality, shy, social
I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

0

2 months ago

being, boss, humor, i, independence, lot, me, motivation, paid, salary, self employment, should, workplace, workplace humor
Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

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2 months ago

humor, language, lead, odd, oddity, pronunciation, read, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

19 shares on X this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Just landed via Reddit:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Spotted on Messenger:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Trending via Facebook:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Broadcasted on Slack:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨