Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,794

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Spotted on Telegram:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Just landed via Facebook:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Just shared via Reddit:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Live now on Pinterest:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Making waves on Telegram:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

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People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.
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Commentary:
"Ah yes, the mark of intelligence is clearly having riveting conversations with oneself! 🤓💬 Who needs external validation when you've got the most brilliant mind in the room, right? 🧠💁‍♂️ Just remind yourself of that the next time you catch yourself chattering away solo. 😂 #Self-proclaimedGenius"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

28 shares on X this month:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Breaking via YouTube:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Just landed via Twitch:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Spotted on Telegram:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Just shared via Reddit:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

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