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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Just landed via Instagram:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Live now on Reddit:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Going viral on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Seen just now on X:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Spotted on X:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Trending via Telegram:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Ah yes, the mark of intelligence is clearly having riveting conversations with oneself! 🤓💬 Who needs external validation when you've got the most brilliant mind in the room, right? 🧠💁‍♂️ Just remind yourself of that the next time you catch yourself chattering away solo. 😂 #Self-proclaimedGenius"

conversation, humor, i, intelligence, intelligent, irony, least, myself, others, people, self, self-talk, talk, tell, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

100 shares on X this month:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I would like even faster food.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

69 but we both just farting.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Spotted on Instagram:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Trending via Snapchat:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

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