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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

13 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Seen just now on Instagram:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Seen just now on Discord:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Going viral on Twitch:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Trending via Reddit:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

6 months ago

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

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Commentary:
"Ah yes, the mark of intelligence is clearly having riveting conversations with oneself! 🤓💬 Who needs external validation when you've got the most brilliant mind in the room, right? 🧠💁‍♂️ Just remind yourself of that the next time you catch yourself chattering away solo. 😂 #Self-proclaimedGenius"

conversation, humor, i, intelligence, intelligent, irony, least, myself, others, people, self, self-talk, talk, tell, wit

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

13 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Shared recently on Slack:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

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