Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.
  • I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.
  • I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.
  • A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.
  • I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.
  • I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.