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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Making waves on Reddit:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Going viral on YouTube:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Spotted on Reddit:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Just shared via TikTok:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Spotted on Messenger:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Just shared via Slack:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

2 months ago

0

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Perks of dating me: I'll make you feel like the *sizzle* to my bacon 🥓… or the *steam* to my latte ☕️… or the *fireworks* to my 4th of July. Basically, I'll ensure you're the 'hot' topic wherever we go! 😎🔥 #sizzleandswag"

date, dating, hot, hot one, humor, me, perks, relationship, self-confidence

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

0

2 months ago

activity, button, chance, childhood, frustration, fun, fun activity, fury, hell, lost, push, tantrum, temper, toddler
It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

0

2 months ago

bizarre, community, done, done that, experience, humor, matter, online, Reddit, situation, somebody, storytelling
Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

0

1 month ago

craving, day, days, dessert, disappointment, food, food craving, hate, humor, i, life, most, sucks, tiramisu
The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

0

2 months ago

am, best, best moment, daily, daily routine, day, humor, i, identity, know, moment, morning, routine, self-discovery, time
I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

0

2 months ago

activity, adult, animal, anyone, around, eat, even, fun, fun activity, goat, human, humor, i, independence, jump, me, randomness, rebellion, relief, stress, stress relief, want
I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

0

1 month ago

effort, heart, humor, i, illness, love, mental, mental illness, putting, relationship, sarcasm, soul, thought, used, where, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

10 shares on Telegram this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

26 shares on X this month:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

33 shares on X this month:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

92 shares on WeChat this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Just landed via Facebook:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Just landed via Threads:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Going bananas on TikTok:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Just shared via WeChat:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

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