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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,957

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Going viral on Telegram:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Making waves on Telegram:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Making waves on WeChat:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Pressure washing: where water, soap, and an impending sense of urgency come together for a splashingly stressful time! 🚿💦⏱️"

cleaning, deadlines, exaggeration, humor, pressure, pressure washing, regular, regular washing, stress, tight, washing, work, work stress, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

2 months ago
best, chat, communication, dog, dogs, friend, group, group chat, humor, loyalty
Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

1 month ago
board, charcuterie, cheddar, cleverness, food, humor, intelligence, joke, wit
Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

1 month ago
course, diet, fast, humor, i, irony, joke, lifestyle, sleep
I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

2 months ago
am, announcement, bravery, dark, dark room, funny moment, humor, i, moment, mouse, myself, room, self-awareness, whenever, yesterday
Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

2 months ago
Beyoncé, broke, broken, broken down, car, case, celebrity, cleaned, cleaning, close, house, humor, just, preparation, room, sleep, somewhere
I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

1 month ago
activity, childhood, culture, DuckTales, flex, fun, fun activity, intro, intro song, music, nostalgia, pop, pop culture, sing, song

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Just shared via Discord:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

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Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏