Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.
  • Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.
  • If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.
  • Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.
  • Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.
  • I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.