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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2535 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,697

Funny Quotes Topics

15,358

Funny Quotes Images

12,697

5 minutes ago

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Live now on Instagram:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Just landed via Instagram:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Trending via Reddit:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Making waves on Discord:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Jan 28, 2025

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎸🎄 "Looks like someone is ready to jingle their bells all the way to the unemployment line! Who needs a 9 to 5 when you can be a full-time rockstar in Santa's band? Time to trade in that briefcase for a guitar case and make your holiday dreams come true! Rock on, Christmas rebel!" 🎶✨

activity, around, balance, celebration, Christmas, Christmas tree, fun, fun activity, holiday, holiday spirit, job, quitting, quitting job, rock, rocking, spirit, tree, work life, work-life balance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2535 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,697

Funny Quotes Topics

15,358

Funny Quotes Images

12,697

5 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Live now on Discord:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Just landed via WeChat:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Just landed via TikTok:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Going viral on TikTok:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Going viral on Facebook:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Going viral on TikTok:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

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