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Commentary:
🎸🎄 "Looks like someone is ready to jingle their bells all the way to the unemployment line! Who needs a 9 to 5 when you can be a full-time rockstar in Santa's band? Time to trade in that briefcase for a guitar case and make your holiday dreams come true! Rock on, Christmas rebel!" 🎶✨

activity, around, balance, celebration, Christmas, Christmas tree, fun, fun activity, holiday, holiday spirit, job, quitting, quitting job, rock, rocking, spirit, tree, work life, work-life balance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

1 month ago
better, bicycle, buy, car, cry, crying, happiness, humor, irony, materialism, money, sports, sports car, wealth
Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

3 months ago
access, believe, hard, humor, infinite, information, intelligence, irony, paradox, still, technology, us
Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

1 month ago
back, change, clothing, fashion, giving, giving back, guy, humor, jeans, joke, skinny, society, style, taking, wardrobe, wardrobe change
Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

1 month ago
clothing, embarrassment, hole, knows, nobody, place, public, public place, secret, sock, station, train, train station
Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

1 month ago
activity, child, cleaning, fun, fun activity, home, organization, parent, parents, playdate, socialization, visit
Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

1 month ago
activity, aggression, building, face, fun, fun activity, humor, i, playful, playful aggression, punch, snowman, winter

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Making waves on YouTube:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Live now on Telegram:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Spotted on YouTube:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

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Activity Log ✨

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Activity Log ✨

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Activity Log ✨

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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