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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Just shared via YouTube:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Just landed via YouTube:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Going viral on Twitch:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

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Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎸🎄 "Looks like someone is ready to jingle their bells all the way to the unemployment line! Who needs a 9 to 5 when you can be a full-time rockstar in Santa's band? Time to trade in that briefcase for a guitar case and make your holiday dreams come true! Rock on, Christmas rebel!" 🎶✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,691

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Trending via Slack:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

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