BIRMINGHAM—Social media influencer Jeremy Todd declared Tuesday that his dwindling follower count signifies not a loss of interest, but a profound fear of love. “You unfollow me because you’re afraid of falling in love with me. I know!” Jeremy assured his adoring public, adding that even screenshots of his oatmeal were too intoxicating to resist.

As followers dropped like digital flies, Jeremy insisted that the intensity of his charm was simply too much for the “emotionally unprepared.” “Every tweet is like a love potion,” Jeremy bragged, “but not everyone can stomach that much affection in 280 characters.”

To combat this, Jeremy now plans to launch a calming parody account in hopes it might mesmerize his runaway followers back into his pixelated embrace. “Maybe some tasteful memes about spreadsheets will help balance the allure,” he mused, “Love-struck but analytics-bound—that’s my brand now.”