ATLANTA—In a disturbing turn of events, local residents report being unable to distinguish between sarcasm and sincerity. “It’s like, am I actually enjoying this terrible coffee, or am I the punchline of my own bad joke?” confessed barista Jenna Caldwell, adding that differentiating sarcasm from reality had become an Olympic-level challenge.
Experts warn sarcasm levels have reached an all-time high, rendering routine conversations indecipherable. “Every interaction feels like a dry, British sitcom,” said Dr. Ian DiPalo of the Atlanta Institute of Sarcasm Studies. “When someone told me ‘Nice weather, huh?’ I honestly had no idea if we were talking about the hurricane or the drought.”
The city council is considering mandatory “sarcasm-free zones,” where residents can communicate without fear of ironic misunderstanding. Meanwhile, language enthusiasts suggest a new punctuation mark might help. “We need a universal sarcastiquote,” suggested local punctuation activist Mia Triton. “Otherwise, we’ll just keep confusing compliments with insults, and alarm clocks with existential dread.”