She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

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People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

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Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

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Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

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My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

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Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

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I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

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I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

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Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

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It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

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The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.