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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,939

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Just shared via Discord:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Seen just now on Threads:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Just landed via Threads:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the true magician in the kitchen! 🎩✨ Who needs a wand when you've got a sandwich maker that can work wonders? 🥪😄 #SandwichMagic"

appliance, asked, cooking, date, humor, i, joke, kitchen, magic, maker, sandwich, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

1 month ago
balance, finance, generational, generational wealth, humor, life, lifestyle, priorities, secret, wealth, work, work-life balance
I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

1 month ago
commentary, honesty, humor, i, mean, reason, relationships, social, social commentary, support, women
Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

3 months ago
apocalypse, Facebook, four, horseman, horsemen, humor, Instagram, joke, maybe, media, social, social media, TikTok, Twitter
Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

1 month ago
always, feel, feeling, five, humor, lasts, minutes, relatability, time, weekend, why
Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

1 month ago
adulthood, again, high, high school, humor, i, independence, interaction, never, nostalgia, peak, people, realization, school, social, social interaction
“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

5 months ago
advocate, devil, devil’s, devil’s advocate, existence, heaven, humor, irony, joke, legal, legal term, prosecutor, term, wordplay

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Making waves on YouTube:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Spotted on Discord:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Spotted on Telegram:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

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She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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