Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Just landed via Reddit:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Shared recently on Slack:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Spotted on Facebook:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the true magician in the kitchen! 🎩✨ Who needs a wand when you've got a sandwich maker that can work wonders? 🥪😄 #SandwichMagic"

appliance, asked, cooking, date, humor, i, joke, kitchen, magic, maker, sandwich, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

0

2 months ago

beast, comparison, Dubai, exaggeration, humor, mr., Mr. Beast, person, personality, personification, wealth
Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

0

6 months ago

actually, astrology, demon, frustration, humor, Mercury, Mercury retrograde, midnight, retrograde, soul, wrap
My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, clown, fake, fake laugh, future, jokes, lame, laugh, laughing, patient, queen, right, true, wife
Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

0

2 months ago

effort, enough, hard, hate, honesty, humor, motivation, nobody, perspective, remember, self-improvement, trying
After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

0

2 months ago

aging, anti, anti aging, beauty, cream, humor, i, irony, say, self-care, weeks, well-maintained, wrinkles
Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

0

3 months ago

account, bank, bank account, Christmas, finance, getting, gift, holiday, humor, just, looks, money, spending, well, well wish, wish, wishes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

79 shares on X this month:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Just landed via Telegram:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Just shared via X:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Making waves on WeChat:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Making waves on Discord:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨