32 funny magic quotes - Wordgag

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

May 21, 2026

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

May 20, 2026

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

May 20, 2026

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

May 19, 2026

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

May 19, 2026

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

May 19, 2026

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

May 19, 2026

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

May 18, 2026

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

May 18, 2026

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Apr 1, 2026

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Apr 1, 2026

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Mar 31, 2026

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Mar 31, 2026

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Mar 31, 2026

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Mar 31, 2026

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Mar 31, 2026

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Mar 30, 2026

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Mar 30, 2026

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Mar 30, 2026

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Mar 29, 2026

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Mar 29, 2026

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Mar 29, 2026

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Mar 29, 2026

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Mar 27, 2026

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Mar 27, 2026

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Mar 27, 2026

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Mar 27, 2026

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Mar 26, 2026

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Mar 26, 2026

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Mar 26, 2026

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Mar 25, 2026