RIDGWAY—Chronic napper Doug Lane achieved a personal best after waking up bearing Olympic-grade couch indentations. “A real nap leaves its mark,” said Lane, admiring the embossed paisley pattern making its way from cheek to chin.

Friends noted how the nap’s intensity triggered a new local competition. “We call it ‘Pattern Combat,'” participant Sue Philips explained, flashing her armrest bruise proudly. “It separates the lightweights from the heavy dreamers.”

Taking his triumph further, Lane is consulting with IKEA for specialized furniture aimed at professional nappers. “We envision zones with optimal texture for maximum imprint,” Lane added, keen on enhancing the artistic scope of nasal Nirvanas nationwide.