BOISE—In a bold attempt to combat his solitude, 32-year-old Greg Morris has installed a large, neon ‘Please Disturb’ sign above his apartment door, hoping to attract passersby. “I tried subtlety before, but turns out people can’t read between the lines,” Morris explained while refreshing his dating app notifications every five seconds.

According to neighbors, the sign has caused a mix of confusion and amusement. “I wasn’t sure if it was an art installation or a desperate cry for help,” remarked Sarah, the building’s janitor, who frequently wonders if Morris might hand out ‘Social Interaction: Just Add Coffee’ coupons soon.

Dismissing critics, Morris remains hopeful. “This isn’t desperation; it’s innovation,” he declared, looking to hire a street performer to stand outside with a megaphone. Experts predict the next phase involves advertising his phone number on a local billboard, promising ‘soulmates and sarcasm guaranteed.’