Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a passport when you have a cold brew in hand? Let the world come to you, one sip at a time! Cheers to the ultimate staycation."

beer, drink, drinking, fortune, fun, humor, me, people, perspective, relaxation, travel, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

0

2 months ago

diary, discovery, friends, funny moment, house, house sitting, item, moment, never, personal, personal item, sitting, surprise, town, unexpected, unexpected discovery
Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

0

2 months ago

good, humor, know, lyrics, misunderstanding, music, nostalgia, shit, sing, singing, sites, technology, teens, truth, used, wrong
The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

0

4 months ago

abbreviation, b, brand, brand name, care, dental, dental care, Funny, humor, me, name, oral, Oral B, question, stand, toothpaste, WTF
The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

0

2 months ago

cart, experience, filled, frustration, funny experience, furious, grocery, grocery store, humor, me, moron, navigating, navigation, shopping, shopping cart, slow, slow and furious, store, through
No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

0

3 months ago

bag, book, humor, kid, kids, parenting, parenting struggle, smell, soccer, soccer bag, struggle
Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cancelling, cancelling plan, excited, excitement, free, free time, introvert, just, me, personal, personal time, plan, plans, self-care, social, social anxiety, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Discord this month:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

56 shares on Threads this month:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Breaking via Discord:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Making waves on Telegram:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨