Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Who needs a passport when you have a cold brew in hand? Let the world come to you, one sip at a time! Cheers to the ultimate staycation."

beer, drink, drinking, fortune, fun, humor, me, people, perspective, relaxation, travel, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

0

1 month ago

appendicitis, Barbie, Barbie doll, Doc, doll, help, humor, joke, me, medical, medical humor, plastic, plastic surgeon, plastic surgery, please, surgeon, surgery, toy
I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, humor, i, just, know, lady, me, media, miss, prediction, social, social media, tarot, TikTok, told
I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, doctor, food, holiday, humor, joke, pretty, Santa, stomach, sure
Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

0

4 months ago

compliment, everyone, here, hot, hot person, humor, interaction, nice, person, sarcasm, social, social interaction
Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

0

2 months ago

bed, count, exercise, fitness, getting, humor, laziness, motivation, resistance, should, training
I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

0

2 months ago

believe, celebration, diet, Halloween, humor, i, pounds, seasonal, time, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

12 shares on Discord this month:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Just landed via Instagram:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Trending via Messenger:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨