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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Going viral on Twitch:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Making waves on X:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Trending via Messenger:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Making waves on Twitch:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Breaking via Discord:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Humorous quote about drinking beer making the world revolve around you.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a passport when you have a cold brew in hand? Let the world come to you, one sip at a time! Cheers to the ultimate staycation."

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

60 shares on Threads this month:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

38 shares on Threads this month:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Spotted on Instagram:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Spotted on TikTok:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Just shared via Facebook:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Shared recently on Slack:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Just shared via Threads:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Just shared via Telegram:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

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