Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.
  • Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.
  • Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.
  • My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.
  • Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.
  • Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.