Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"

30, answer, asked, bottle, conversation, date, drinking, humor, i, me, minutes, much, response, right, social, someone, spend, spending, time, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

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2 months ago

being, flaws, growth, humor, irritation, mindset, personal, personal growth, perspective, self-absorbed
Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

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1 month ago

everyday, hell, humor, i, ID, Satan, tell, work
My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

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1 month ago

comedy, desire, health, humor, information, information overload, informed, irony, mental, mental health, odds, overload, sane, stress
I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

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1 month ago

aggression, fact, facts, grudge, grudges, hold, humor, i, just, memory, remember, sarcasm
Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

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1 month ago

conversation, honey, humor, internet, media, online, online conversation, relationship, social, social media, stranger, strangers, talking
There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

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1 month ago

answer, argue, argument, conversation, grok, hopes, humor, little, man, manipulation, nothing, pathetic, sad, sad man, wants, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

85 shares on X this month:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

57 shares on X this month:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

31 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Broadcasted on Threads:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Making waves on Discord:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Just shared via Slack:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Spotted on Twitch:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Just shared via Twitch:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨