Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.