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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Actually, this email couldโ€™ve been a meeting. We couldโ€™ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone couldโ€™ve brought bagels.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

If i say โ€œmorning!โ€ to you, it does not mean โ€œgood morningโ€, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, โ€œI love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!โ€ Then I said, โ€œTurn left.โ€

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Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when idiot distribution was a bit more manageable ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿž๏ธ There's definitely a charm to the simplicity of having just one village idiot to deal with!



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

People who like sweet potato fries canโ€™t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

Dude, weโ€™re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Everybody thinks โ€œFree Hugsโ€ signs are cute, unless youโ€™re a boa constrictor.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.