Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

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Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

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Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

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There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

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I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

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You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

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Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

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I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.