Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Seen just now on X:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Breaking via Messenger:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Spotted on Telegram:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Just landed via Slack:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about pondering life changes after a bad haircut, humorous and lighthearted.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the endless possibilities of a good haircut! 💇‍♂️ If only sleek locks could unlock the secret to a perfect existence… 💭💇‍♀️ Alas, it seems we must navigate life's twists and turns with our wild tresses and unruly manes! 😄 #HairGoals #LifeChangesWithAHaircut

appearance, funny thought, good, haircut, humor, i, life, self-reflection, sometimes, thought, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

49 shares on X this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

81 shares on X this month:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

40 shares on Facebook this month:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

82 shares on Discord this month:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Live now on Reddit:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I need a day off from myself.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Trending via Discord:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

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