Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic selective hearing move, a true masterpiece of skill and finesse! 🤭👂 Nothing like nodding along to 'awesome' without a clue what was even said! Just hope it wasn't a question… 🤷‍♂️😂"

attention, awesome, context, conversation, course, humor, i, listening, sarcasm, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

0

2 months ago

book, cover, evil, face, humor, i, judge, people, stupid, tell
Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

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2 months ago

drama, education, humor, irony, learning, life, read, reading, struggle
The problem is I am always the problem.

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2 months ago

always, am, humor, i, introspection, irony, problem, self-awareness, self-deprecating
A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

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2 months ago

act, acting, adult, adults, babysitter, fun, irony, night, night out, responsibility, teenager
Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

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2 months ago

adventure, humor, misunderstanding, ride, sunset
“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

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4 months ago

bathroom, before, epitaph, humor, i, left, pee, procrastination, regret

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on TikTok this month:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

51 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

32 shares on X this month:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Trending via Threads:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

The problem is I am always the problem.

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨