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Commentary:
"Oh, the classic selective hearing move, a true masterpiece of skill and finesse! 🤭👂 Nothing like nodding along to 'awesome' without a clue what was even said! Just hope it wasn't a question… 🤷‍♂️😂"

attention, awesome, context, conversation, course, humor, i, listening, sarcasm, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

1 month ago
animal, animals, humor, instinct, know, minutes, nature, newborn, old, wit
I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

1 month ago
eat, exam, humor, i, means, paper, pass, pretty, school, soon, student, test
Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

1 month ago
absurdity, actually, better, government, humor, lying, pond, strange, strange woman, sword, system, woman, women
I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

1 month ago
awakening, day, explain, food, humor, i, just, preference, quirky, randomness, surprise, taste, unexpected, wake, works
Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

1 month ago
cooperation, funny observation, having, insist, ironic, irony, language, observation, own, pronunciation, sounds, vowel, wordplay
Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

5 months ago
fabulous, forest, forest ghost, ghost, Halloween, hauntingly, hauntingly fabulous, humor, inner, lost, self-expression, spooky

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

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Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

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YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

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Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Trending via Instagram:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Going viral on TikTok:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Making waves on Discord:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

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Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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