TOPEKA—Following recent revelations, a report by sleep scientists announced Tuesday that chronic grogginess has officially been recognized as a legitimate personality trait. “Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am,” said Chad Franklin, a proud sufferer of perennial drowsiness. “Napping is my lifestyle, not a lifestyle choice.”
Experts claim that what was once thought to be a side effect of a sleep disorder is now embraced as an identity. “It’s refreshing to see people accept their reality of perpetual fatigue,” explained Dr. Sandra Yawn. “They might not be alert, but they’re woke.”
In a surprising twist, universities have started offering elective courses for those interested in perfecting their sleepy personas. Disney & Disney, a recruitment agency, renowned for hiring dwarves for its theme parks, reportedly received over 2,000 applications for its Sleepy role in just one day.