AUSTIN—A new study released Tuesday revealed that individuals deemed ‘aesthetically challenged’ experience significantly longer phone battery life, much to the chagrin of their better-looking counterparts. “I charged my phone a week ago, and it’s still at 92%,” said study participant Martin Pugh, who described this newfound efficiency as the only benefit to getting ghosted.

The researchers, using complex algorithms and plenty of assumptions, found that attractive people often drained their batteries faster due to constant notifications and selfies. “It’s like being ugly is the new solar power,” quipped Dr. Helen Stroud, the study’s lead.

The study suggested embracing one’s ugliness to save energy costs, further concluding a spike in sales for face masks. “Finally, being unwanted has a tangible benefit,” Pugh added with a defeated chuckle, basking in the glow of his eternally lit screen.