SYDNEY—New research from the University of Sydney suggests that adults over 30 who remain single enter a metaphysical game of hide and seek, yet the twist is no one’s counting. “It’s like you join the game, announce you’re hidden, and never get found,” said lead researcher Dr. Emily Ludlow, sincerely questioning if anyone ever is looking.

While the study raises many eyebrows, it seems participants find thrills in the void. “You know, at least in a ghost town, there are others spooking around,” said 34-year-old Derek Martin, speculating the ultimate prize is self-reflection. “Some also speculate it’s Pete from Accounting still hiding since the Christmas 2018 party splash.”

Perplexingly, the research extends beyond life’s lonely game. “There have been whispered sightings of seekers,” Dr. Ludlow added, “but most just turn out to be people fetching the last donut or streaming new shows instead.” Experts advise hope for a future round of the game where more seekers appear.