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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Just shared via YouTube:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Breaking via X:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Making waves on Discord:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Trending via Discord:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Spotted on WeChat:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Just landed via Reddit:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Just landed via Slack:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

1 week ago

Playful quote about the hilarity of accidentally clicking a pen again.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic pen-clicking dilemma – caught between the wrath of others and the undeniable urge to fidget! It's like a battle of wills, with the pen emerging as the unsuspecting weapon of choice. Just one more click for the road, right? Who knew such a tiny device could spark such big emotions!"

anger, awkward, awkward moment, click, frustration, humor, moment, pen, situation, social, social situation, someone, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Slack this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

The problem is I am always the problem.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

18 shares on Messenger this month:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Going bananas on Twitch:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Oh good. Another day.

Trending via WeChat:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Spotted on Telegram:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

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