Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,939

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Just shared via X:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Going viral on Threads:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Just shared via Slack:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Going viral on Telegram:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Spotted on WeChat:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Making waves on X:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

2 months ago

0

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic pen-clicking dilemma – caught between the wrath of others and the undeniable urge to fidget! It's like a battle of wills, with the pen emerging as the unsuspecting weapon of choice. Just one more click for the road, right? Who knew such a tiny device could spark such big emotions!"

anger, awkward, awkward moment, click, frustration, humor, moment, pen, situation, social, social situation, someone, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

0

1 week ago

2006, available, date, even, humor, i, new, new year, nostalgia, sarcasm, take, time, used, want, year
Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

0

2 months ago

activity, big, Big Text, communication, drinking, drunk, getting, humor, invention, send, social, social activity, text, texts
Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

0

2 months ago

activity, board, board game, Christmas, date, family, family time, fun, fun activity, game, gift, kid, kids, parenting, play, play date, time
Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, creativity, daily, daily life, humor, life, me, new, problems, relief, solutions, solve, stress, stress relief
So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, day, every, existential, frustration, humor, humor quote, just, keep, life, life struggle, living, me, monotony, sarcasm, scam, seems, struggle, telling
You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

0

2 months ago

education, having, humor, learning, life, pension, school, should, student, year’s

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

99 shares on X this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating healthy requires a second job.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,771

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Making waves on WeChat:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Trending via LinkedIn:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Trending via Slack:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Live now on Threads:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

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