Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Making waves on Facebook:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Trending via Twitch:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Just landed via Reddit:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Spotted on Slack:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Going viral on TikTok:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Just shared via Twitch:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about the never-ending cycle of cleaning and messiness in a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Cleaning the apartment is like Groundhog Day but with dust bunnies and crumb trails instead of Bill Murray. 🧹🏠 #ForeverDirty"

again, apartment, chores, clean, cleaning, dirty, everything, frustration, later, moment, routine, year

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58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

33 shares on X this month:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

62 shares on X this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Shared recently on TikTok:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Live now on TikTok:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Trending via TikTok:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Spotted on WeChat:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Just landed via WeChat:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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