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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

359 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,628

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,628

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Just shared via Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Just shared via Discord:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Cleaning the apartment is like Groundhog Day but with dust bunnies and crumb trails instead of Bill Murray. 🧹🏠 #ForeverDirty"

again, apartment, chores, clean, cleaning, dirty, everything, frustration, later, moment, routine, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

2 months ago

end, fundraising, humor, hunger, irony, jar, media, satire, social, social media, swear, swear jar, Twitter, world, world hunger
My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

2 months ago

activity, change, doing, goal, growth, humor, new, new year, personal, personal growth, resolution, Resolutions, stop, things, time, year
I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

2 months ago

adoption, companionship, consideration, humor, me, relationship, self-reflection, seriously, wants
I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

2 months ago

Christmas, dyslexia, hope, humor, i, irony, mail, people, Santa, Satan
Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

3 months ago

analogy, bodily, bodily functions, embarrassment, fart, functions, humor, nature, rain, thunder, urinate
Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

2 months ago

attitude, call, character, character development, development, fun, humor, reckless, self-improvement, vibe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

83 shares on Discord this month:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Dear music, thanks!

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Making waves on YouTube:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Live now on Reddit:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Just landed via YouTube:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Just shared via Slack:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Spotted on Reddit:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Going viral on Reddit:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Live now on Facebook:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Seen just now on Threads:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨