Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
  • My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
  • Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.
  • Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.
  • Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”
  • My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.