Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,358

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Seen just now on Threads:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Just shared via Telegram:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Trending via Slack:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Just landed via X:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Spotted on X:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

4 weeks ago

Funny quote about body image with witty humor and dark comedy vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🔥 When you've tried every diet and workout plan known to mankind, sometimes you just have to turn to extreme measures! 😂 Who knew the hottest body could be achieved at the crematorium? Just make sure you don't take the saying "hot body" too literally! 🔥💪

body, crematorium, death, fitness, hope, hot, hot body, humor, irony, joke, last

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Discord this month:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

58 shares on X this month:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

12 shares on Slack this month:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Making waves on X:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Going viral on Slack:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Trending via Threads:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Trending via Telegram:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Going viral on Slack:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

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