Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Going viral on Facebook:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Trending via WeChat:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Making waves on Instagram:

I need a massage for my brain.

Just landed via YouTube:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Just shared via WeChat:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Going viral on Facebook:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Trending via Threads:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"RIP to the autocorrect inventor. May he forever be remembered for turning 'I love ewe' into 'I love you' 😂🙏 #RestInPiece"

autocorrect, death, died, dude, humor, joke, piece, restaurant, technology, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

0

2 months ago

72h, always, belief, believe, bus, care, deodorant, fragrance, humor, manufacturers, me, next, people, personal, personal care, satire, sit, stop, writing
Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

0

2 months ago

analogy, cheese, food, held, humor, identity, just, lasagna, much, point, self-deprecation, together
Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

0

2 months ago

funny situation, humor, just, mattress, relationship, situation, sleep, wake, wake up, wife
The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, last, money, month, procrastination, running, spending
Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

0

3 months ago

arts, belt, black, black belt, fight, humor, martial, martial arts, Monday, motivation, psychological, psychological warfare, stress, warfare, workweek
I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

0

2 months ago

am, crazy, fun, humor, i, just, normal, personality, sanity, self-awareness, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

41 shares on Messenger this month:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Making waves on WeChat:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Going viral on Instagram:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Live now on Instagram:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Breaking via Facebook:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Just shared via Facebook:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Just shared via Discord:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨