Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Spotted on YouTube:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Making waves on X:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Live now on Instagram:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Live now on Threads:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Spotted on Reddit:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"RIP to the autocorrect inventor. May he forever be remembered for turning 'I love ewe' into 'I love you' 😂🙏 #RestInPiece"

autocorrect, death, died, dude, humor, joke, piece, restaurant, technology, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

0

2 months ago

assume, brave, charm, confidence, flirtation, good, good looks, humor, looks, resist
My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

0

2 months ago

before, behavior, child, child behavior, dislike, eater, even, food, food dislike, humor, kid, kids, knowing, parenting, picky, picky eater, superpower
Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

0

2 months ago

choice, day, decision, humor, lazy, lazy day, me, motivation, procrastination, productivity, rush, still, today
Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

0

2 months ago

comedy, confidence, Funny, humor, know, much, resilience, self-deprecating, trauma
Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

0

5 months ago

argument, closet, clothing, every, fight, humor, item, just, personification, started
What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

0

5 months ago

able, around, before, being, eyeglass, eyesight, half, history, humor, just, observation, people, question, vision, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Twitch this month:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

100 shares on X this month:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Spotted on Twitch:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Trending via Reddit:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Just landed via Facebook:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Just landed via Reddit:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Just shared via YouTube:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Just shared via WeChat:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨