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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Live now on Facebook:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Making waves on TikTok:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic struggle of calling out names! 🐶👶 Who knew getting attention could be this challenging? At least with the dog, you're guaranteed some level of response, unlike the unpredictable kid! 😅🐾 #ParentsVsPets

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Spotted on Telegram:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Seen just now on X:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Just landed via YouTube:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Trending via Slack:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Trending via WhatsApp:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Spotted on X:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

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