Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
Ah, the classic struggle of calling out names! 🐶👶 Who knew getting attention could be this challenging? At least with the dog, you're guaranteed some level of response, unlike the unpredictable kid! 😅🐾 #ParentsVsPets

being, call, difference, dog, humor, kid, main, name, parenting, pet, response

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

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2 months ago

big, big house, chance, country, dog, house, humor, i, only, rescue
Does anyone know where I can find true love?

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1 month ago

anyone, dating, humor, i, know, love, question, relationship, romance, true, true love, where
I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

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1 month ago

after, confidence, eraser, every, humor, i, joke, mistake, smaller, wordplay
“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

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21 hours ago

alone, everyone, family, holiday, home, home alone, house, humor, moment, movie, peace, reminder
My first mistake was leaving the womb.

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1 month ago

birth, humor, leaving, life, mistake, womb
Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

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3 months ago

behavior, crazy, else, everyone, humor, institution, media, mental, mental institution, online, online behavior, sane, sanity, social, social media, Twitter, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

46 shares on Threads this month:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

49 shares on Threads this month:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

64 shares on YouTube this month:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

19 shares on X this month:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Just landed via YouTube:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Trending via Instagram:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Spotted on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Going viral on Slack:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨