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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

2 hours ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Spotted on Telegram:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Breaking via WeChat:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Just landed via YouTube:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Spotted on Threads:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Going viral on Messenger:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Going viral on Facebook:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

6 months ago

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the title of "Official House Annoyer" goes to the little one from the mother-in-law's side! 🏆👶 Just when you thought mother-in-law jokes couldn't get any better, the universe decides to up the ante with a mischievous toddler in the mix! 🤣 #FamilyDrama #ToddlerTrouble

annoying, annoying child, child, family, house, household, humor, jokes, mother-in-law, parenting, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

2 hours ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Spotted on Reddit:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Breaking via YouTube:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

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