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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Trending via Slack:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Making waves on Facebook:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Just landed via Messenger:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Trending via YouTube:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Just landed via YouTube:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Spotted on Discord:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Just landed via Twitch:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

2 weeks ago

Clever humorous quote about family dynamics, highlighting a playful jab at in-laws.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the title of "Official House Annoyer" goes to the little one from the mother-in-law's side! 🏆👶 Just when you thought mother-in-law jokes couldn't get any better, the universe decides to up the ante with a mischievous toddler in the mix! 🤣 #FamilyDrama #ToddlerTrouble

annoying, annoying child, child, family, house, household, humor, jokes, mother-in-law, parenting, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Going viral on X:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Freshly posted on Threads:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Spotted on Discord:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Making waves on Discord:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

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