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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Just shared via Facebook:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Spotted on X:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Just shared via X:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Spotted on Facebook:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs fantasies of wild adventures when a good night's sleep is the real dream come true? 😴💭 Sweet dreams are the new sexy! 😄💤"

adulting, bedroom, days, fantasy, getting, hours, humor, i, relatable, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

0

2 weeks ago

5, book, bro, humor, irony, last, obsession, read, reading, storytelling, tech, tech bro
My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

0

2 months ago

confusion, funny moment, humor, i, moment, realization, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend, well
Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

0

2 months ago

animal, boy, comparison, dog, dogs, good, good boy, humor, just, nature, nobody, pets, wolf
Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

0

2 months ago

different, humor, hurt, jewelry, losing, loss, pain, relationship, sentiment, type
The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

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4 months ago

aging, being, comfort, doing, doing nothing, home, humor, i, laziness, love, much, nothing, older, realize, relaxation, self-awareness
“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

0

2 months ago

exactly, expectation, humor, okay, pass, patience, procrastination, this too shall pass, time, too, uncertainty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Facebook this month:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

60 shares on X this month:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Freshly posted on X:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Breaking via Facebook:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Live now on X:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Making waves on Threads:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Going viral on YouTube:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Just shared via Reddit:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨