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Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,020

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Just landed via Messenger:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Going viral on X:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Seen just now on X:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Spotted on Messenger:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Spotted on Twitch:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Who needs fantasies of wild adventures when a good night's sleep is the real dream come true? 😴💭 Sweet dreams are the new sexy! 😄💤"

adulting, bedroom, days, fantasy, getting, hours, humor, i, relatable, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

1 month ago
flirtation, here, humor, only, patience, sexy, test
Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

1 month ago
being, coconut, danger, exactly, humor, i, infested, killed, odds, shark, swim, water
Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

4 months ago
again, China, Chinese, Chinese food, culture, eating, food, girlfriend, got, humor, i, joke, relationship, repetition, sense, think, time, today, yesterday
Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

1 month ago
breakup, dining, disappointment, ever, expectations, experience, food, hard, humor, relationship
When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

1 month ago
commitment, expectations, harbor, humor, i, know, marriage, relationship, surprise, turned, warship
She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

2 months ago
animals, apartment, date, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, pest, relationship, turn, turn off

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Spotted on Threads:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Live now on X:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Going bananas on Twitch:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Just landed via Telegram:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

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Activity Log ✨

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

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The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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