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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Breaking via WeChat:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Going viral on Discord:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Going viral on WeChat:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Spotted on Instagram:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Just landed via Threads:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

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“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.
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Commentary:
Oh, the age-old battle between our aspirations and our inner procrastinator 🤷‍♂️ Don't you just love it when you outsmart yourself before you even get started? 🙃 Looks like we've got a classic case of self-sabotage at its finest! 💭 Keep calm and blame it on "you" – the ultimate dream crusher! #DreamsVsYOU 😆🚫💭

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Just landed via Facebook:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Just landed via Threads:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Going viral on Facebook:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Going bananas on Messenger:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

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