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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

52 minutes ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Making waves on Messenger:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Jan 26, 2025

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

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Commentary:
Oh, the age-old battle between our aspirations and our inner procrastinator 🤷‍♂️ Don't you just love it when you outsmart yourself before you even get started? 🙃 Looks like we've got a classic case of self-sabotage at its finest! 💭 Keep calm and blame it on "you" – the ultimate dream crusher! #DreamsVsYOU 😆🚫💭

dream, dreams, humor, introspection, me, motivation, obstacles, only, problem, self, self-awareness, standing, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

52 minutes ago

3,464

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Making waves on Facebook:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Spotted on Facebook:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Going viral on YouTube:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Shared recently on Threads:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Just shared via YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

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