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Commentary:
"Who needs a crystal ball when your cell phone battery can predict imminent doom with such accuracy? Forget storm clouds or ominous signs – the real sign of impending disaster is that dreaded low battery warning!"

battery, cell, cell phone, humor, life, low, low battery, modern, modern life, phone, serious, technology, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

4 days ago

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I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

5 months ago

humor, i, money, neighbor, neighbors, saved, saving, security, security system, stealing, system
Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

1 month ago

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Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

2 months ago

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Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

1 month ago

brand, excited, excitement, faking, humor, motivation, new, positivity, super, week, work
You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

2 months ago

choice, choose, decision, humor, i, life, life choice, path, psychopath, take

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Spotted on Threads:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Making waves on Messenger:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

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The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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