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"Who needs a crystal ball when your cell phone battery can predict imminent doom with such accuracy? Forget storm clouds or ominous signs – the real sign of impending disaster is that dreaded low battery warning!"

battery, cell, cell phone, humor, life, low, low battery, modern, modern life, phone, serious, technology, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

1 month ago
better, cat, comfort, companionship, deal, humor, lap, pet, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief
I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

1 month ago
accidentally, accidents, gardening, hate, humor, i, leaf, neighbor, neighbors, outdoors, yard
It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

1 month ago
drug, gambling, life, motivation, people
Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

1 month ago
ambition, Dior, fashion, hard, hard work, humor, Shein, study, success, work
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

1 month ago
beverage, calming, humor, i, irony, making, me, nervous, relaxation, smell, taste, tea
Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

1 month ago
button, fake, guy, humor, joke, lightning, synchronization, thunder, weather

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

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All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Just landed via Discord:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Making waves on Discord:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Shared recently on Slack:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

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Activity Log ✨

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

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The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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