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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Just shared via Messenger:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Spotted on TikTok:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Making waves on Snapchat:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Seen just now on X:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Just shared via Slack:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Seen just now on Twitch:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

1 week ago

Humorous quote about societal beauty norms and gender stereotypes in playful words.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, so apparently women are exempt from the "ugly" label? 🙅‍♀️ Must be nice living in a world where flaws magically disappear just because of your gender! 💁‍♀️ Looks like some people need a reality check to level up from their boyhood beliefs! 🤔✨ #BeautyIsSubjective

beauty, boy, gender, humor, just, perception, sorry, stereotype, thing, ugly, used, women, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

11 shares on TikTok this month:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Just shared via Instagram:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Going viral on Instagram:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Seen just now on Reddit:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Spotted on Facebook:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Making waves on Slack:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

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