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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Breaking via Threads:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Just landed via Discord:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Going viral on Discord:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Shared recently on X:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about classroom chaos, comparing controlling students to hugging a tornado.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to control a class full of energetic students can feel like attempting to hug a tornado 🌪️💨 – you're just left spinning in circles wondering what just happened! It's a whirlwind of chaos and excitement all rolled into one lesson plan!

challenge, chaos, class, control, days, education, hug, humor, teaching, tornado, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

100 shares on X this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My middle finger salutes you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Making waves on Pinterest:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Live now on Pinterest:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Seen just now on Reddit:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Spotted on X:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Just shared via TikTok:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Just landed via Twitch:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Going viral on Reddit:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

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